Wednesday, 7 December 2016

Two Simple Steps to adopt when lonely in a party

Parties are supposed to be fun, not scary—but trying to start a conversation in a room full of total strangers can be harrowing. Fear not, though: with the right tricks, you can not only survive, but actually enjoy yourself.

We’ve told you how to survive a party as an introvert. But even extroverts can find parties challenging if they don’t know anyone. How do you mingle? How do you fit in? For shy people, introverted or extroverted, this scenario can be a nightmare. It might not even be a party. It could be a workshop, a networking event, or any other situation in which everyone seems to know someone but you. Here are a few tips and methods to help ease the anxiety—and maybe even have a little fun.

1. Offer to Help the Host

This tip may not work well at events, but at parties, it’s a lifesaver. Once you arrive, find the host, and offer your help. It’s a polite gesture, and it gives you something to do. Even if the host doesn’t need any help, he or she may sense your apprehension and give you a task to keep busy. A good host will probably also introduce you to a few people so you can get the conversation going.
Ask to chop some veggies, plate some food, or play bartender. It’ll keep you occupied, you won’t feel as awkward, and it will get your mind off the stress.
Thought Catalog also suggests bringing something that needs to be prepared. This automatically gives you something to do once you arrive. You don’t want to spend the whole night making lasagna from scratch, but a little guacamole won’t take long, and it gives you a chance to ease into the party. It might even be a good ice breaker; people may wonder what you’ve brought. You can explain to them what it is, what you’re doing, and how they can make it themselves.

2. Don’t Be Afraid to Admit You’re Vulnerable

When you arrive, it’s easy to grab a drink and immediately retreat to the corner, where you feel safe. But you may be surprised at how people respond when you’re open about your vulnerability instead.
Find another shy, solo guest and laugh about the fact that neither of you know anyone. I tried this at an event recently: I found another guest who was alone, asked if she knew anyone, and we both admitted how overwhelmed we felt. From there, the conversation naturally progressed. This made it a lot easier to mingle with other people, too, because we did it together.
On the other hand, it might be easier to approach an outgoing person. If you can find the life of the party, chances are, they’ll be pretty open to chatting you up and introducing you to other people.

You could also look for group of two

After that initial ice breaker, it might be time to elevate the small talk to medium talk. Here’s how to make this happen:
  • Share small details until one of them sticks: Once you’ve gauged each others’ interest with a bit of small talk, you’ll probably find there’s one topic that piques both your interests a little more than the others. Latch onto it and dive a little deeper.
  • Give specific answers: A great way to boost the conversation after a cliche ice breaker is to give a non-cliche answer. If someone asks “what do you do?”, for example, come up with a specific answer. Maybe it’s a story about your job or an example of what you do on a day-to-day basis. If someone asks, “How do you know the host?” you might tell a funny anecdote about how you met. This gives the conversation more room to progress than the expected, “we went to college together.”
  • Arm yourself with relevant topics: Whether it’s current events, or just some fun background about the event, prepare yourself with a couple of interesting topics, then find a way to weave them into the conversation.
After you’ve got the conversation going, make sure not to kill it. Here are a few tips to prevent your chat from becoming stale:

  • React to what a person says in the spirit in which that that comment was offered: If they tell you a lighthearted joke, respond lightheartedly. This keeps the conversation enjoyable and simpatico.
  • Ask “getting-to-know you” questions: It’s important to ask the right questions. You want to get to know the person you’re talking to, but make sure the questions you’re asking are also relevant and appropriate. Take a genuine interest in learning about the person.
  • Don’t dominate the conversation: This is probably a no-brainer for shy folks, but sometimes it’s easy to start rambling when you’re afraid of any awkward silence. If the other person hasn’t said anything in a while, it’s time to stop and check yourself. If someone feels they’re in a one-way conversation, they’re probably thinking about how to bail.



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